Ulfert‘s 7-day metabolism reset

Ulfert was looking for a way to lose a couple of kilos – without having to go hungry for it. That was why she tried the 7-day metabolism reset and ate the vitelements vital substance bar for a week, with successful results.

Of course, I could have tried a diet with broccoli or something instead. It would also probably have worked. But I don’t like broccoli. Apart from that, I would have also had to concentrate to prepare the greens properly; cooking usually makes me hungry though… And hunger is silly in diets. So one heroic day, I decided to try the (apparently) hard way: a week with the vitelements bars. Heroically, I ordered the things…

One Monday morning, I stumbled sleepily to my kitchen and turned the coffee machine on. Why isn’t there any milk in the fridge? Oh yeah, I’m on a diet today! All of a sudden, I was fully awake. I would soon be biting into the first bar! First I switched my Espresso-part from the standard „strong-enough-to-defend-itself“ to the rarely used program „Spares granny’s heart“ and brewed myself the beloved morning drink. A bit thin, but quite alright without milk.

Now the cautious opening of the first vitelements bar. I sniffed it like Tim Mälzer in “Kitchen Impossible”. It didn’t smell bad, at least. I nibbled at it cautiously: didn’t taste at all bad either! I had thought it would be worse. The cocoa in it already had its appeal, the slightly salty with it… interesting! And so the 7-day metabolic reset adventure could begin.

The first day was completely problem-free. No hunger pangs, drinking loads of water, a bit of coffee as a sidekick… It worked! The next day somehow passed. It was still working. Somehow… Then the crisis happened in the afternoon of the third day: I want to finally have a different taste in my mouth again. And the thin coffees! Something with a bit of BITE! A steak or something! Savoie cheese! A whole brook trout with Riesling sauce! Even just a bag of peanut flips! Yes, I was rather unreasonable. But something in me was starting to shout indignantly – and it was getting louder. I was probably going a bit mad. But every diet has a bit of madness.

But in this case, there were none of the dreaded hunger pangs – I wasn’t actually really hungry. Are there appetite-pangs? That must have been it. It could be that I am particularly sensitive to them, because I usually appreciate my carefully-prepared, diverse meals – I don’t only eat to feel full! It felt like I must have snuck at least 93 times in the direction of the kitchen and came back depressed. Cleverly, I had removed everything edible from it. I wondered if I could perhaps start gnawing at my desk, but it didn’t quite seem that fine to me yet. Close the door and throw the key out the window?  A great idea to finish the 7-day metabolic reset!

But then, how would I get out again after the diet without standing there looking silly?  Not such a good idea after all… Then, suddenly, a bright light broke into the darkness of my madness and a voice spoke to me: “There was something else in the instructions for the 7-day metabolic reset! Stand up and go look for it!” Swoop – already the vitelements internet site was shining in front of me. And there were the holy words! They spoke of vegetable broth that I could eat at any point during the diet!!!

Vegetable broth – at that moment, the possibility of that dish seemed as tempting as perhaps white truffels with pisci, a Toscan type of pasta. Or a lobster thermidor. Or… Nah, let’s not go there – Or I’ll get hungry… No hours later I was standing in the kitchen, satisfied, chopping at all the greens I had just bought: Carrots, celery, onions, leeks – the usual suspects. But also – here the hobby-cook in me came out to play: lemongrass, two tomatoes, coriander, mushroom cabbage, laurel and a few other treasures from the herb garden.

Like Getafix, every couple of minutes I then stirred the giant pot in which the vegetables and a large amount of water were now to slowly transform into the magic drink that would save me. It lasted almost two hours, but already the smell of deliciousness was freeing my spirit of almost all despair. I was then finally fully recovered when I was able to slurp at the first beaker of the broth. The dish that is not really a standard in my menus was a poem! And it was variable, as I could sprinkle different herbs into each cup that always gave my taste buds something new. However, it didn’t fill me up.

So, I reconciled myself with the vitelements again that day: At length they do taste slightly plain, but – contrary to the broth – they are filling. Furthermore, they give you something to chew.  Chewing is good against hunger. The combination of broth and bars was therefore perfect! All at once, it wasn’t hard any more to get through the next days of the diet. Sometimes I even left out the odd bar or so… For lack of hunger. So, then the day of truth arrived, the diet day number 7. Trembling, I stepped onto the scales at 10 p.m. and… YESSSS! I had actually lost nearly 4 kg!! The “hard way” had been worth it – and at the end of the 7-day metabolic reset, wasn’t actually as hard as I had expected. With broccoli it would have been worse… Much worse!

The Metabolic Treatment